Clarity
by Parodys
Summary: With Ev's death, Jubilee is forced to relook at Xavier's dream. Sorry, not a sequel to Presents but it's coming Please R&R.


Disclaimer: None of it's mine, nada, zip, kaput, zilch, so please don't sue. Oh wait…Nancy actually does belong to me so if for some obscure reason you want to use her, just ask first. 

A/N: Nope this isn't a sequel to 'Presents' but I promise to try and get to it. Jubes is 16, Ev has just died. This is done in a first person perspective from Jube's viewpoint.....let me know what you think. Think of it as her reflecting back...sort of...and I'll admit it- it's weird. And don't kill me about the whole running away thing. I know it's been done to death but I wanted her to find her self, not loose who she was. Shrugs Let me know what you thought. And yes, I realize I need to get out of this rut…damn those 2am ideas that can't let you sleep!! 

Clarity

By Parodys

Ever have one of those moments where everything focuses into stark clarity? One flash and it hits you. Boom. Out of the blue, with the power of a two ton truck. That's how it was when I saw Ev's body. He was lying there, alone, bleeding among the rubble and all I could think was that it wasn't right. He was a good guy and they aren't supposed to die. Scott died or disappeared (depending on who you talk to), and now Ev. Makes you think that if we're supposed to be the winning side, we ain't doin so good.

Generation X; future X-men, heroes to be, family and friends to each other. Kind of amazing how this family is able to totally ignore their members when it starts to inconvenience them. Take me for example, Ev and I have our first big fight, I tell him that he's the last person I want to see and then he dies. Not great for the old conscience is it? Nothing like seeing your best friend die in front of you and not being able to say you're sorry. Nothing like it at all...

So I'm standing there watching M cry and hold Ev, being held back by Sean because I'm not the girlfriend, and it comes to me. Why the hell am I doing this? In the space of three years I have been teleported to different dimensions, met mythical creatures, been kidnapped, traveled the world, fought bad guys, basically seen some incredible things; and still people I love seem to die on me. The one person who hasn't bit the dust yet is Wolvie, maybe it's just the ones that are around me. It sounds stupid, I know, but it is time for a change. A big one. I've done my part, did my good deed for the world, fulfilled my obligations to Xavier and everyone else. I think it's time for me. Hell, it should at least be an interesting ride.

I've always found that good-byes aren't painful when they're not said. So, about a week after Ev's funeral I left. Packed a bag and headed out the door, leaving just a note that said _'Thanks for everything. Time to go, the dream isn't the same for me anymore. I have to find my own, one where the price isn't too high. Love, Jubes.'_ I taped it on the fridge so that they wouldn't see it until morning, later if they were in a hurry. Not that I thought they would look for me. They might search at first, but after awhile it'll die down and people start to forget. Trust me, six months in Juevie hall teaches you something even if it is that trusting people will get you burnt. Figures that I forgot the cardinal rule.

One duffel bag, 500 dollars in saved up cash, a bus ticket and a sealed envelope sent off to Wolvie pretty much sums up my life. I headed towards New Jersey, I figured one of those tiny towns along the coast will be nice for awhile. Get a job, stay in some apartment for awhile. I had a fake ID, and knew how to survive. That's all it really takes, a little guts. I got a room with an elderly lady, and worked days tossing pizzas at the local hangout. Within a month, I knew almost everyone in town and still managed to evade being found. Emma most probably hit the big cities like New York or LA, once a mallrat always a mallrat she'd say. Thing is, I never really liked the malls in the first place. It had always just been a place to hang out with CynJen. It was her scene and I just followed. What fun is a mall when your parents are loaded? I always had anything that I ever wanted, funny how it turns out, when you discover that it wasn't anything after all.

I found out later, that the locals protected me from the people that came around asking for me. It's nice to know that they're willing to look out for you. One night, I was staring out at the ocean, watching the waves crash again and again on the beach when a piece of paper blew onto my lap. Sounds corny huh? Like out of a movie, right? Believe it or not it happened, and it was an advertisement for an oil painting class that was being taught nights at the local library center. I've never been interested in that kind of stuff before, but I was bored and wanted to try something new so I joined up.

First night, I came loaded down with a set of paints, brushes and a canvas, not really sure if I wanted to do it. We each got to pick a scene to do, and I chose a portrait of a baby being held by its mother, a pretty simple looking piece. Each time I dipped the brush into the paint and created, stroke by stroke, this tiny piece of reality I got more and more hooked. I loved it, I wasn't limited by the restraints of what things were supposed to look like. On that small piece of canvas, I was in control of what happened and for the first time in a long time, I didn't hurt as badly.

Once I had finished the baby, I moved on to other paintings, doing everything from landscapes to surreal scenes. But, the ones that I like the best were of people, any and all kinds were put on the canvas. The portraits were like reflections of their souls, distorted but there. Oddly enough people seemed to like my work, called it 'honest and heart wrenching'. So I sold some of it under the name Jae Lee. Not the subtlest but it got the job done. I doubted anyone would even think of me, when they saw one of my paintings. Jubilee was never known for her appreciation of the arts.

Although most of my work sold, some precious ones never left my room. I had been working on a special series of pieces just for me. If I look around the room now, I can see my parents' faces smiling at me, each member of Gen X, and Ev laughing in a captured moment. He always knew how to laugh. Kind of weird how, almost a year later how badly that still hurt. I still see the team on the news every once in awhile, saving the day from the bad guys and to be honest I don't miss it at all.

Ev's parents received the painting I sent of him, anonymously of course. I made sure that he wasn't wearing the uniform, they were so angry when he died. His father didn't want him to get hurt and look what we did, we killed him. They'll probably ask Emma who sent it, even though I asked them not too, but I'm not worried. They can't trace it back to me, at the most they can tell that I'm alive. 

************************************************************************

Emma stared at the fax coming through the machine, it was a beautiful painting of Everett. The painter had managed to capture a moment of pure joy on his face, and for a moment her heart ached for the loss of the boy. She spoke to the other person on the phone, her finger tracing the portrait sadly. 

"It's beautiful. Where did you get it done?" 

"We didn't. We received it in the mail a few days ago with no name and no return address. Is it from one of your students?" Ev's father stressed 'your', his pain evident in his voice.

"None of them possess this talent. Wait..." her eye strayed down to the signature at the bottom, Jae Lee. A curious idea worked its way through her head. "Perhaps one. What would you like me to do?"

His voice was thick as he struggled to find the words. "Thank them." and hung up the phone.

Emma gazed thoughtfully at the fax, and then called her secretary in. "Nancy, I need to know every painting this Jae Lee has done and I need to find out everything about her. See what you can come up with." Nancy nodded silently and walked out, wondering why how an artist could cause such a fuss.

An hour later Emma's secretary handed her a file. "This is her work and all the info I could find on her. She has no history whatsoever. Jae Lee has grown very popular with her work this past few months, but there is no way of contacting her. She sells her paintings through a gallery, and they have only a mailing address on hand for her. She's never shown up to any exhibition and is reputed to be one of the most solitary artists on the East Coast."

"Thank you Nancy, go file or something." Emma said absently as she flipped through the various photographs of the artist's work. Each one was incredible, a tiny piece of light trapped in paint. Unwilling to give her suspicions voice, she recalled the day when Jubilee had left. Sadly, no one had even noticed that she was gone until the next night, when someone read that infernal note on the fridge. All that had been taken from her room was a few clothes and that was it. The menagerie of things on top of her dresser; Wolverine's hat, various stuffed animals won at the fair, pictures of the team had been left untouched. Of everything that hurt the most, it was that Jubilee didn't want any reminder of her life there. Emma had blamed herself for weeks as they searched, that a child in such obvious distress not be noticed, the idea of it alone blew her away. She prided herself in protecting the children and knowing how they were. In the end Emma was left wondering if she ever really knew. 

Jubilee was something Emma took special pride in, the one member of the team she knew would turn out the greatest. Every other member didn't have that fire, that intensity that burned inside like her. Perhaps it was that drive that Jubilee managed to survive so long on her own However, all Emma knew was that she finally had a clue as to where Jubilee could be and she wouldn't rest until she had the girl in sight. The team at least deserved to know that much. As for the X-men, she still couldn't figure out why they had stayed out of the whole business. The day she called to tell them about Jubilee's disappearance, she was met with a calm Beast telling her not to worry. It still made her blood boil, his cultured voice trying to soothe her. Then after weeks of searching they still hadn't found her, and it occurred to Emma that she had no right to do it. She had destroyed the girl's life, wasn't she entitled to a little happiness? The team sorely missed her, but sometimes life doesn't give you a choices you like.

Holding the fax in shaking hands, Emma buzzed her secretary. "Nancy, get the plane ready. I'm going to that art gallery, take care of it for me. Oh, and tell Sean that an emergency came up and I had to leave. Whatever you do don't tell him what I'm doing."

Nancy bit her lip, not willing to see her boss get hurt again. "What if you don't find her this time?"

Steel glinted in her eyes as she clutched the file. "This time I won't come back alone."

************************************************************************

Life seems to go in circles doesn't it? Just when I started getting comfortable, I get a call from my gallery that said that a lady has been asking about me. Typical Emma, can't let anything go, or just be. Maybe I wanted her to find me, who the hell knows, all that psychological crap never meant that much to me. Why would it when every social worker has tried to get inside my head?

I've started training again, just to be safe. It's amazing how living as someone normal can keep you safe, but it isn't right. Being a mutant is something I can't deny any longer, it's not fair to me and it's not fair to Ev, who died because of it. My powers have become stronger, more in control probably because I am more at home with myself now. I run along the beach each night pushing myself harder and harder to be ready. As my feet pound the sand, my body tingles with this electricity and I know that something big is going to happen soon. Its a gut feeling, something I learned to respect from Ange, and it's telling me that my dream will become clear soon. It's been one hell of a ride huh?

Painting has always calmed me and yesterday I finally finished a piece that I've been working on for over a year now. I poured my life into it, creating light where I couldn't anywhere else. It's going to be a present for an old friend of mine, an apology for time lost and things said. I hope she likes it. As for Wolvie, I sent him a picture of me that I did. It's of the Jubilee he remembers, the one who was bubbly and laughed all the time. Bright blue eyes unafraid of the world will watch over him when I can't, I'm betting it makes him smile. Wolvie was the one person who understood what I had to do and didn't interfere with me. I'm going to miss him.

************************************************************************

Rage. Fury. Frustration. Emma had been teetering on the brink for over a month, unable to find Jubilee. Sean had finally dragged her back to the office for the weekend so she could fill out some important paperwork. So, she sat in her office, signing things that needed to be signed but her mind was a thousand miles away. Nancy, walked in quietly with a huge, flat object wrapped up carefully in brown paper that was at least four feet by five feet.. 

"This came for you."

"Fine. Leave it outside." Emma barely glanced at the woman.

"It's from the Jae Lee you've been looking for." Like a woman in a daze, Emma slowly got up and knelt in front of the parcel, gripping it like she couldn't believe it was real.

"Leave."

Alone in the room, Emma was almost afraid to open it up, the evidence she had been seeking for so long in her grasp. Carefully tearing off the paper, she revealed a huge painting that took her breath away. Setting it on top of a chair, she stepped back to look at it fully, the image blurring as she realized what it was of. In front of her stood the original Generation X in their full glory. Each team member was painted in that precious time in life when dreams are still within grasp and the world hasn't disappointed you one too many times. Angelo, Monet, Everett, Jono, Paige, Penance and Jubilee grinned up at her, with Sean and herself standing behind them. In the corner it was signed Jae Lee, and a note was taped to the back of the picture. It simply read, '_Emma, sometimes life doesn't give us what we want, and sometimes it does. Mine has finally turned out okay, and I hope yours has too. Love, Jubilee. Fredrick Pier, 9 p.m., 14th_.' 

A few hundred miles away Wolverine had unwrapped another painting, this one of just Jubilee. The note taped to the back of it was even shorter than Emma's. It said, '_I love you Wolvie. Take care. Love, Jubes_.' Smiling he hoisted the painting up onto the wall, where the sunlight could fall on her. He had spent hours convincing the X-men that they should leave her alone when she left, and had made sure she was alright by occasionally checking up on her. Jubilee never knew, of course, but he hadn't been willing to leave her to the world without some knowledge that she was okay. Smiling he looked into the sparkling blue eyes of his firecracker, it turned out that she was doing just fine.

************************************************************************

I was waiting on that pier for Emma that night. It felt right, with the rain and the waves were crashing against the railing. The boards creaked as she walked up behind me, and I turned around. We just stood there staring at each other, it was so weird. And then she kind of smiles and says, "Well done, Jubilation.". I'm sure that I had a witty response to fire back, but I was suddenly hit by this intense pain that burned. Tingling needles pricked all over my body, and it felt like I was coming apart at the seams. I remember thinking that this is what Jono must have felt like, his body being torn apart by his psionic energy, an exquisite, freeing pain racking him. However, what was his curse will be my redemption. This time I will be freed.

_______________________________________________________________________

Emma watched in horror as the girl started to laugh, great chuckles coming from her. Light poured through her skin as bits of her body were blown away, pink and blue light streaming from beneath. She knew she had been summoned to witness something, but she had never dreamt it was going to be this. 

Suddenly another mind grabbed on to her's, and Emma fell to her knees at the fury of emotions and sensations she received.

*Thank you Emma.* Jubilee whispered before she burst into a blue light, and entered the psionic plane. 

Sobbing, Emma looked over to where Jubilee had been standing and saw nothing left except the smoking X emblem in ashes. Picking it up with a handkerchief she carefully tucked it away in her pocket, and shakily stood up. She hadn't been quite sure what she witnessed, but she knew that somehow Jubilee had finally gone home. Smiling, she headed towards her car and drove home. Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

________________________________________________________________________

Epilogue

Hidden among the branches, Wolverine sat perched on a limb thinking about the report Emma had sent the team. Far from being hysterical, the woman had said that Jubilee had transcended her physical form to a psionic one, and that she had seen the whole thing. Emma had actually smiled and said that it was beautiful. Shaking his head, Wolverine shuddered to think of the white queen being happy, but it made sense. For years now, they had been harping on about Jubilee having latent powers that she never left manifest because she didn't want to hurt anyone, seemed as if she had more than anyone had ever dreamed.

Lighting a cigar, he tossed the match away when he got the strangest scent. It was almost intangible, as if it wasn't supposed to be there but it was. Just as he recognized it, it left with the hint of a giggle in the wind.

*Love ya Wolvie*

-Fin-


End file.
